Walk like an Egyptian

Actually if you were to walk like an Egyptian at the moment you would probably need some sort of placard and an expression of angry defiance. I suppose what I want to say is bathe like an Egyptian, but that doesn't really have the same ring to it...
So where am I going with this? On my way to catch the tram most days I pass a small beauty salon specialising in treatments based on completely natural products only. It's quite an expensive place, but has that aura of health and tranquility about it as you might expect. Normally I don't take much notice of it, but today I saw a big poster in the window promoting a new treatment. The announcement went something like this (in French obviously):

The Bath of Cleopatra

A bath using real asses milk!

Excellent for treating psoriasis, eczema, healing scars, and for old people and children

I have ways of making you pretty

 Mon Dieu! How on earth could I ever justify taking an afternoon out to bathe in asses milk?? Try explaining that to the other half.  I'm not sure that I would ever need something as drastic as that, my skin being generally ok, nothing my Clarins moisture-rich body lotion won't sort out anyway.  Still, I'm so intrigued! There's one side of me (the dumb one) which imagines a palatial room with a magnificent plunge pool filled with a rose-scented milky-water, a few maidens leisurely playing the lyre whilst I step elegantly into it, letting the towel slip seductively from behind me as I immerse myself in the elixir of beauty. As I emerge, all sublimely soft and beautified, a handsome, muscular slave enrobes me in a towel and leads me to a massage bed (obviously he'd be a eunuch, just to keep Mr P happy).

And then there's the other side of me.... which to be honest has got so caught up in the Cecil B. DeMille image that I can't imagine what the reality would be. 

Thank Isis for waterproof make-up!

I suppose the sensible thing to do would be just to go in and inquire, and then I'd be able to give you all the lowdown like a proper grown-up beauty-blogger. The thing is, I know that there is a clear and present danger I'll end up being talked into making an appointment and then my Claudette Colbert dream may be ruined for ever, plus there'll probably be a huge gaping hole in my wallet where my money used to be, especially if I ask them how much they want for throwing in a slave or two.

So, if the whole milk bath thing floats your boat (sorry), then here are some alternatives to milking that donkey down at the local city farm:

Elemis Milk Bath:  a totally luxurious product which smells totally delicious and very expensive, which it is unfortunately, but you do get a whopping 400ml of the stuff and you only need to use a cap-full in the bath. I have to say that when I had a bottle of this stuff years back I used to slosh it in the bath like it was a 99p bath foam. Oh the indulgence. Leaves you feeling incredibly soft and scented like a millionairess. 

Home-made milk bath: There are so many ways of doing this and many 'recipes' to be found on the web. Here's one that I think looks good, although I'm not sure where you can find "powdered honey", am pretty sure a spoon of the regular runny kind would be just fine.

http://www.ehow.com/how_5480834_make-milk-honey-bath.html

Weleda also make lovely products, all-natural/organic, including a range of scented bath milks. I'm sure they don't actually contain milk, but if you just want a milky sort of bath rather than a bubble or oil kind then I'm sure they'll give you your hit. At under £9, they won't make your wallet wince either. 

As a last resort, and not really a bad way to go, I think that just a cup of powdered milk and a few drops of your favourite essential oil would be just as effective as the more complex recipes out there which seem to require you to get the pestle and mortar out. Pestle and mortar? For a bath? Now that's what Cleopatra had slaves for.